Steady Progress – of the wrong kind

A lack of action on the field for our group of unfortunates hasn’t meant there is nothing to report from a Worst in the World perspective. On the contrary, that lack of action means that all seven teams currently ranked at the foot of the world rankings. have been steadily clocking up additional months in that position. As a consequence each nation is climbing up the all-time worst in the world rankings.

For the uninitiated, this list doesn’t imply that the current worst teams are any better or worse than their predecessors on the field – they have all spent time as officially the worst national teams in the world after all. What it does do, however, is log how many published world rankings each nation sat at the bottom of. And this current lack of action for certainly six of the seven nations means they are adding to their tally significantly.

Here’s a brief rundown of what this all means for each of our worst in the world nations.

Caribbean Cup Qualifier: Guyana 7-0 Anguilla

22nd March 2016
Caribbean Cup Qualifier, First Round
Providence Stadium, Providence, Guyana

Guyana 7-0 Anguilla

Anguilla were soundly beaten and outclassed in their opening Caribbean Cup qualifier in Guyana yesterday, struggling from the off against a Guyana side that kept them at arm’s length throughout.

Guyana are the team who inflicted Anguilla’s record defeat – a 14-0 thumping in 1998 – and at times during the first half in particular, it appeared as though the record books may be troubled again.

Richard Orlowski – Man on a Mission

The national team coach of Anguilla, newly installed as the official worst team in the world, has something of a story.  Born in Poland as Ryszard Orlowski, he fled his homeland in 1984 amidst the political repression of the communist era and escaped to Austria.  Subsequently, he was granted refugee status in the United States and made a new life for himself – with a new, anglicised first name – in New York City and then Pennsylvania.

As a player, he was a striker in his native Poland but has become more renowned as a coach being part of a Polish-American duo helping Nepal to a famous win over India.  ‘I am very happy and proud of this new chapter in my life,’ he said. ‘The country is surrounded by beautiful beaches, amazing weather, and best of all, friendly people.  The Anguillan team is decent, but it needs improvement.  This is why I was brought in as head coach.  My job and responsibility is to bring this country’s football to the next level.  I am always one to take a challenge head on and will not back down from achieving my goals.  I create a very good atmosphere and relationship between the players and myself.  In football this is very important.’

Welcome Back Anguilla

The tiny island of Anguilla, a territory of the United Kingdom, may be one of the first listed FIFA members alphabetically, but once again they are now the last listed in the ranking meritocracy.  Having  been absent for almost four years Anguilla are once again firmly ensconced as the official worst team in the world after Bhutan’s rise last month.

This will be Anguilla’s eighth spell as the worst in the world and will see the tiny island territory add to its currently tally of 48 months ranked at the bottom of the world.

‘It means nothing to me,’ said the Polish-born national team coach Richard Orlowski to FIFA.com recently – while his team were one place ahead of Bhutan.  ‘We’ve had some bad luck in the past, there’s no denying.  But now we play in the present.  So whoever says that Anguilla don’t have a chance, I say to them: “This is football and anything can happen.”’

Anguilla, at the northern edge of the Leeward Islands, is considered a paradise of tropical beauty and seductive calm even among the rich pickings of the Caribbean.  ‘It may be a small island, but these guys have the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen,’ Orlowski added referring to his team of amateurs, who combine international football with careers as construction workers, bankers, teachers and boat builders.  ‘They leave work early to train and some even risk getting less pay.  I feel so much pride when I see them come out on the pitch, how much they juggle in their lives.’